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“Betting for myself”

The Better Man Project ™

(*Based off of Greg Plitt’s Video Blog about “Life’s Gamble”)

Throughout the past few years, and especially over this past year, I have learned a lot about life and what it takes to live. I say live in reference to what it feels to actually be alive…whether that is being scared out of your mind, or happy beyond belief. And truly, over the past year, I have experienced more of the “scared shitless” feeling that I ever had before…because I was pushing myself in all areas to the limits, right to the edge, and often of times taking that little leap of faith that wasn’t possible in previous years. Life is a gamble.

Most of us gamble with other people’s money, hearts, friendships, and anything else they can find. But in all honesty, you can only truly learn once it is your “money” on the table. Nothing else has the…

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“Desole”

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– to the people that I have had hurt because of being too opinionated and outspoken

-to everyone that I wasn’t able to please well

-to those that I had disappointed

-to those rumormongers that I didn’t even bother to buy their preposterous stories

-for I’ve been such a brat and I want almost everything to score on my way.

-for I’ve been too loud about how and what I feel which made me so annoying

-because I fail and wasn’t able to count the expectations from the people around me

-for being ugly and that, maybe, worsen your day

-for being an absent-minded freak that I slipped to create consternation and concern about how you feel

-for being such a groggy sleeping skunk all the time 

-that I spent a profusion of my time hating someone so badly

-that I’d been so afraid to get out from my comfort zone and had just been contented with anything that’s just reachable. I didn’t even dare to try something exotic, extraordinary.

-for irritating you with my bizarre personality

-for being such a green-eyed monster to anything that I do not have.

-that I’ve been too ambitious

-to bring you down.

-that I cheated during examinations ( Hehehehe )

– that I had ignored  the people I once love just because of a stupid reason

-I dwell too much on some things that didn’t even need and deserve my valuable time

-that I chose love over friendship :\

-that I misjudged some people

-for being a coward fighter

-for I allowed myself to be besieged with feigning people

-that I trusted so much easily

-for I am not an ideal significant other

-that I had let myself fall to his trap and lose the other

-that I expected too much from you

-I am not skillful in my field

-I have an impeccable taste of imperfection in my personality

-to the ones I love, for being so demanding and a burden to you guys

-I hold and keep grudges

-that I lied and had keep secrets

-for I will never take extra effort to go beyond perfection

-and lastly, desole, I’m sorry, for I’ve been true and genuine to myself and to everyone around me 🙂

 

From now on, I am going to be a better youngself. I am now all set and full alert to whatever that might come my way. to impediments, obstructions, torment or whatever that life takes me, say, it’s in the deepest core of earth, I’ll face them with resolute being and extreme determination. I promise, not to regret any single thing that I will be doing. 🙂

The Better Man Project ™

 

 

I have to say, I really think playing it safe is not the way to go. Not because there aren’t moments where you really have to take care of yourself, but in a general attitude point of view. There is this old saying that says that a ship is safe in the harbor…but that’s not what ships are made for. Let yourself set out to the dangerous seas which are your life and open the sails. Tie down the ropes and move. Move towards the edge because that is where your limits live. Right at the edge. You will know it when you get there because this little thing called fear pops into your mind. You will hear your mind start to chatter a million miles a second. This is a good sign. Keep moving forward.

The message is really short today. You were built to do amazing…

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“Away from the City lights”

What words will pop out in your mind when you hear the word province? Cool breeze, pleasant people, free from worries, nature-friendly, jaw-dropping horizons, sea foods, family, life’s spices and everything nice.  I actually spent my all souls’ and saints’ day this year for the first time in my pop’s province, LEYTE. It’s basically a neighboring island of my current city, Cebu.

To reach Leyte, I took a night trip sailing for more than 6hours from Cebu. Unfortunately, because of my slothfulness and being forgetful that it was passengers-season, I was only a chance passenger which means, I don’t have a berth nor a seat to rest while I’m in the ship. Luckily, a tom who was working in the shipping line suggested a vacant deck for me so I can have rest for awhile. Probably, she’d noticed that I was extremely tired and my eyes been trying to be opened wide. LOL.

And so, for my first day, I headed immediately for a 45min. road trip to my pop’s place, Maasin City, from our hometown based Bato, Leyte. My younger sister went with me and just spent the day sleeping like a log which made my pop dismayed because he thought I just went there to sleep and I didn’t even bother to have a quality time with him. Awee, Sweet dad.Tehee. right after been awake, I just texted him right away that I’m heading back to our home town. How silly of me. Well, I’m sorry, did have a very strenuous trip a night before. But I know dad, understood it 🙂

My first night had been totally amazing. For the first time again, I was able to join a Halloween party in our home town which was organized by my boyfriend’s family.  The people really put so much effort in their costumes. And yea, before I forgot, I was even been called as a judge to draw the final verdict to who will be the winner for the Best In Halloween costume. How I wish I could show you photos during that night but unfortunately, I forgot to bring my camera. ( Blame forgetful youngself, again.) Their costumes were all great and scary! Drinks and fun had excessively poured all night 😀

On my last day, I spent my day, literally the whole day, with my younger sister 🙂 We ate burgers, ice creams, had road trips  (myself as the driver), visited some close friends, got wet of the sudden rain while driving and just talk and laugh all day long. Sad to say, I wasn’t able to meet and greet my highschool batchmates since most of them are really busy doing their thing with their family too. Nevertheless, I had a beautiful 2day stay in Leyte.

The best thing about spending your vacations in provinces is that you don’t need a lot of money to have fun and enjoy unlike here in the city. You can take a stroll with friends with the fresh and scarf-like breeze that’ll brush our faces, witness the picturesque horizon during the sunset or the beautiful scenery that you will see while on a road trip. Whenever I have escapades in provinces, I can always find my self at a loss of words to describe astonishing and overwhelming moments that I had. The experience was beyond words. Provinces are the best diaspora for people to unwind and not the morning-the-night-thing that we have here in the city. I’m not saying that you can’t find fun here but I tell, far from the city lights escapades are one hell of amusing fun. Even if it was just a 2day stay, I have relished every tiny detail moments that I was able to cherish in my home town. Here’s to more escapades in Leyte soon! 🙂

 

“Badgered Night”

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Tired eyes tried to shut

but then,

busy mind wants to shout

random thoughts here and there

It opens a window

in lieu of nowhere

randomness ignited

keeping tired eyes

away from sleep

oh hustling mind

spare me this time

to have rest

and a sweet goodnight.

Stressed is Desserts

I’ve read from a random article that says “I don’t drown my sorrows; I suffocate them with chocolate.” and so do I. I always make it up to a point whenever I feel melancholic, stress, problematic bombarded with load of things to do or just plainly bored, I drop to the nearest dessert cafe to revel and savor the succulent and bittersweet taste that desserts can offer to me. They are totally my stress-reliever, more than just taking a tablet of a stress-reliever drug. Here are some of my favorite and mostly one of those I can run-and-lean-on-to desserts. Excuse me for the low quality photos 🙂

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1. On the Left side: That’s Vanille’s belgian truffles. I take 1-2 of these and poof! I’m back to my hyper-active self again.  2. On the right uppermost column: Savoring my one and only cookies and cream overload cupcake from Sweet Little thing. 3. On the middle: That’s Ice Scramble which I usually have 2 or 3 times a day of it in our school. This is really cheap and satisfying. 4: On the bottom right column: That’s Mango Crepes. It like a pancake rolled to be a triangular like and sprinkled with chocolate syrup, mango slices, whip cream and the best part of it is the Vanilla ice cream 🙂  I haven’t even finish the whole crepe just alone, I had to seek help from a friend to help me finish this one.

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This is from the best dessert buffet cafe here in Cebu “Fudge”. This is there best ChocoLava. It’s an ice cream cake with a mouthwatering melting chocolate. I can’t get enough of this. For the love of desserts, I’ll do cartwheels or whatever just to have another one.

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This is a Japanese dessert called “An-mitsu” from Cafe Egao where my friend and I frequently go for a study-out. It’s basically consists of jelly, sweet azuki bean paste, and syrup and variety kinds of fruits. This is really a yummy and healthy treat for our busy minds especially during major examinations

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These are just my best treat for my sweet-tooth cravings even in the most random moments, I actually drop by to La Marea to have my heavenly delightful warm brown-cup. I can say, this is my best detour for stress and problems or when I’m pressured with academic stuff. You”ll get enough of this with just a slice or two.

 

I would love to share more photos but it’ll take you forever to read if I’ll let it. So those were my topmost favorite desserts, I also love caffeine, like a frap from Starbucks or Seattle’s best or their enticing Belgian waffle. :)If only, I could marry food, I would totally love to! I’m really aware that I am moody and talkative and you know what’s the best thing to make me quiet? It’s desserts! 🙂 I couldn’t suffice everything about how I euphoric I am when I see food and desserts around me. It is somehow m recuperation for melancholy. To wrap it up I’ll leave you with this sweet and divine quote ” One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating.  ~Luciano Pavarotti and William Wright” Till my next food tripping tout le monde. *wink *wave

“Reverie”

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I know you, I wish you know me too
Every tick of the clock
Calls the nuisance of my heart
That someday you might notice the throbbing sound of a trembling heart

You are someone, while I’m a nobody
Unbeatable, unshaken, unwavering
Someone everyone desires to be
For sure we’ll never be on the same land

But everyday the thought of you lingers me
Blows me to a place where have always long for
To your warm touch where we could just hide and flee
How I wish I could call you mine as I can also be yours

All of a sudden, I’m awake
Awake from my specious reverie
The reverie that lulled me into
A make believe that there’s you and me

Now I feel so pathetic and desperate
To hope for someone I can never
I can never make the impossible plausible
For I am no exceptional girl that qualifies your unattainable land.